E to the Mizzle (revokethygift) wrote,
E to the Mizzle
revokethygift

I have so-oh-oh much to do, pero I find it all sort of enjoyable, in a stressful, let-me-check-this-off-my-list-so-I-feel-accomplished way.

Writing
Scholarship essays
Program apps
Test prep
Research
etc.

I (have?) like(d?) a boy who has no interest in me. It's sort of annoying, especially because I have no good reason to like him whatsoever and I have convinced myself and all of my friends that I don't and maybe I really don't and I just want to like somebody so I start to think I do then convince myself I don't and then go hug some Asians because they adore me unlike this boy not that I care but it is sort of frustrating nonetheless. Ch-yeaah.

Last week, I experienced some of the worst family drama I have ever gone through, but I don't like to talk about that. Now things are good because there is inevitably the calm that follows the storm, but the ups and downs of home life are ohsovery cyclical so I know it'll happen again. For now I just bite my tongue and take my father's advice to the best of my ability. He says when my mother starts telling me he is the biggest asshole loser liar cheater monster she has known and wants me to agree with her, I should just be like, "Yeah, mom, you're right" rather than defending his ass, which inevitably leads to screaming and crying and shouting and cursing. It's hard. (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!@!!) More annoying than the boy whom I like but I don't except maybe I just say I don't becaue I know nothing will ever happen and I don't have the time or the energy to be worrying about boyz anyhow.

I saw a really good French Canadian movie called C.R.A.Z.Y. the other day. It is about a homosexual boy with four macho brothers and a homophobic father growing up during the 1970s in a very religious family. It's extremely artsy but the story is pretty poignant and I love watching the evolution of style and music. If I ever have a gay son, I would be such a loving parent. I don't get people. Poor Jorge Carillo is currently in self-denial because his Catholic mother and father have it beaten into his head that being gay is a sin.

Okay, I'm going to go do something fun now. Both of my feet and my entire left thigh are asleep!
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