So, I wish my life were as exciting as Elyse Sewell's and I went to castings and dated the drummer from the Shins and acerbically commented on the bad English translations featured on Hong Kong food labels, all with a wit sharper than my model-thin knees and elbows. But honestly, besides sleep-deprivation, a heavy workload, and a few Lifetime-TV-movie-worthy fights at home, there is really nothing new in my life. I wake up too early, struggle through the day, and am a total space-case by sixth period after exhausting any sort of meager attention span during fifth-period chemistry.
In TiP terms, Multi, as I was forewarned, is "completely ridiculous." There are four girls in the class, two of whom are perfectly Asian and perfectly silent. McKinney has the worst arm flab I have ever seen in my life. Seriously, at the risk of sounding like a Laguna Beach rich bitch, there is enough fatty tissue on her upper arms to cover all of Cher's plastic surgery. I spend most of my time in class gaping at her granny-panty lines and marvelling at the fact that someone can be teaching such a high-level math class and yet be so utterly, completely oblivious. The pent-up testosterone combined with a serious nerd factor in that class results in a rowdiness that isn't to be believed. Typical exchanges, to which McKinney remarkably remains unaware, include the following:
-Michael Rosenthal: "Yo, Vivek, stop acting like you're smart. We all know what you got on the SATs!" (Entire back corner laughs.)
-Vivek: "Shut up, man! I'm in this class, I'm smart, okay?"
-Brian Frank: "Hahahaha, Vivek, have you gotten one A in this class yet?!" (Vivek is silent.)
-Max Shill: "Hahahaha, Vivek, are you psyched for MDC?!"
-Peng Yu: "Hey, what are you guys talking about?" (Peng is a socially-challenged, if not mildly retarded, Asian boy shunned by the Asian community. Talk about a rarity!)
-Mervin Zhao: "Shut up, Peng."
-Peng: "What! I didn't say anything!"
-Mervin: "Shut up, Peng."
-McKinney: "Ummm. Now I think this vector will go through the z-axis...No..the y-axis. No..." (She starts drawing on the desks with Expo markers and gesticulating wildly, arm fat swinging, in an attempt to visualize planes and vectors. It sort of looks like a techno dance move. David Lee and I have creatively dubbed it, "The McKinney.")
-Michael: "Hey Peng, you're stupid. Did you really get an F on your last test?!"
-Peng: "Yes. Haha! Hey guys, I bet I'll get an A on the next test! You should eat shit!"
-Mervin: "Shut up, Peng!"
And so on...
So, I like my English class and I like talking with Nick Katz, I really like online conversations with
David Dave Bloom, I like wearing dresses, I like it when I make Top List in chem, I like doing better on Multi tests than either Wei or Rui Yang (yahooooo! Although it pisses me off that they will be our valedictorian/salutatorian when I am quite a bit smarter than them, modesty aside.), I love Project Runway and Grey's Anatomy, I like mis amigas, and, though it pains me to admit it, I like the psuedo-nasty teasing banter I have going on with Bill Clayman. Except when he calls me a fatty. :(
I dislike how tired I am all the time, I dislike all my homework (and there really is way too much), I dislike being asked where I want to go to college because I am honestly so sick of that question and I honestly don't know, I dislike even more being asked what I want to do when I'm older because I have no fucking idea (lately my answer has been, "I want to be a bartender," just to get a rise out of people), I dislike going to the doctor and having blood taken and being told I have mild acid reflux, I hate family drama, and I hate how much work I have to do this weekend. Oh, and I also dislike being asked by various family members if I have a boyfriend/why I don't have a boyfriend/when I will have a boyfriend. Talk about awkward. And sidenote to Bill Clayman: my last entry was not a desperate complaint on that subject. I was merely trying to be funny. Obviously you don't have the sense of humor to appreciate it!
To tie this back to the beginning, I think I can say with both optimism and confidence that my life will be as exciting as Elyse Sewell's one day. In the meantime, I will end this with a quote by one Nick Katz: "Look, you teach me the secret to good grades, and I'll teach you how to do a killer backflip on a skateboard."
Now if this were a cheesy television game show, I would definitely have to say Deal.